Loved Ones & Caregivers

Caring for someone who has prostate cancer is a challenging experience, especially for significant others, who may have to adjust to a new lifestyle with their partner. Here are some suggestions of things that loved ones and caregivers can do to help the situation and provide the best level of support not only for their loved one, but for themselves as well.

Join a Support Group
It is often helpful to discuss your feelings with others who are going through the same experience. The support section of this website has listings of places to find support groups. For people who are unable or prefer not to attend a support group in person, one solution is to join an online Internet chat group. There, you can rely on the support of others anonymously and have an immediate forum in which to address your concerns and find answers.

Learn About Prostate Cancer
Read this website and other suggested readings.  Understanding the disease and what you and your loved one may be facing will help remove some of the unknowns.

Use Communication Skills
If your loved one has prostate cancer, now is the time to be extra understanding. Let him know that you are interested in talking and listening to him and then listen to his feelings without judging or interrupting him. Also, don’t demand that he talk about his feelings if he does not feel that it would be helpful to him.

Participate in His Treatment
You can attend doctor’s appointments and accompany him for tests. He may not suggest this, but you can.  If he refuses, don’t push the issue.  However, if he is receptive to your joining him, you might want to help out by writing things down during the doctor's visit.  Find out from his healthcare team what the treatment requires and what the side effects will be like so that you can better help him through it.  Remember that, in general, men are less likely to discuss their health concerns or share their fears.  However, most likely, a loved one with prostate cancer will want and need lots of caring support from loved ones, family and friends.

Look After Yourself
You can help your loved one most effectively if you also take care of yourself. Make sure you get enough sleep and look after your own health by following a healthy lifestyle.  If you are overwhelmed emotionally, try talking things out with a close friend.  Consider activities such as meditation, yoga and listening to music to help you relax.  Do what you can to maintain a positive attitude and set a good example for him. However, do not impose an expectation that he have a positive attitude.  Some recent cancer research is actually showing that maintaining a sense of optimism or a “positive attitude” is not necessarily beneficial if that is not truly how the patient feels.

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